Where is the glass ceiling exactly?
Should be dated: 16th July 2008
So I have been working for the past 1 month in a business that has very few women – none at the managerial level. In all fairness, this is an industry type of a business, unglamorous, old-world and well, heavy. It smells, you have to be out in the Sun, travel like crazy, sweat and sit in dull looking offices. So yes, it isn’t a place a woman would look to naturally. All this is an explanation of why women wouldn’t be here. What I really want to write about is an account of my experience here as a woman who is, in fact, here. Even if for just 1 more month.
-- Cute don’t sell: It may seem like you can get a lot of work done by acting cutesy with men who haven’t seen a woman in their line of work in a long time, and sure enough you can! But you will never earn their respect. If you, on the other hand, make no allowances for yourself being young, inexperienced or/and a woman, and work hard – at least try sincerely to learn, you will earn genuine respect. And believe me, at the end of the day, that respect is what counts. I’m happy I earned it fair and square. :)
-- Tired don’t sell either: So you are too delicate to be there huh? You’ve got to learn how to hide that. These are men who understand that it isn’t easy for you to be where you are and do what you are doing but please, give them some credit. They are human too! Don’t give up at the first sight of a chair! So I stood – in the Sun, on the shop-floor, in the conference room – everywhere! Yes, I had to prove a point.
-- It isn’t easy to break into their inner circle: And especially so in a social setting. I had the privilege of attending a Senior Management party where the only women were wives of the Managers. And the men had formed small groups which I couldn’t get into unless I elbowed my way in! So I spoke o my boss, took my drink and stood gauging the situation till he took me over to the wives. Sure enough I got to talking and socializing and blah but one, I didn’t have anything to say to them and two, I had a distinct feeling that I was missing out on all the business discussions and hobnobbing with the Boss. I still need to find or develop a comfortable way of doing this.
-- You need to talk football, tennis or some other sport: I am uncomfortable with rules in sports. And this is something I feel very terrible about – inadequate sometimes. I just don’t seem to have to the knack for it! But it is a conversation starter and a great way to mingle with men! So I’ve decided to take 2 sports that I like even without knowing rules – football and tennis and learn their rules and follow their games.
-- Common room etiquettes: So we have this room that tea and accompaniments have to be consumed in. We all go in. And I have no particular place to rest my gaze on. And I can feel everyone looking at me and expecting me to talk or ask something. And it could be all my imagination but I tell you it is awkward! So I did what most mature individuals would do, I sipped my tea real fast and I bolted from there :) Again, something I need to get comfortable with.
-- You will never be your boss’s blue-eyed boy: Naturally. So you just hope that the work you do speaks for itself and the other people you work with speak appreciatively of you and that’s that. No, you cannot expect him to discuss his investments with you or his daughter and how he’s concerned about whom she’s seeing but that’s ok. As long as he knows he can count on you on the work-front and that you care but don’t intrude. And no, you cannot take your concerns about relationship and marriage to him and ask for advice! Hell, no! As long as you involve your better half (in spirit) in your discussions with the Boss, I think you are good. At least that is what I think now. If I’m wrong, I really have to think of another way to break into the Blue-eyed Boy club!
Some of you "stronger" women may disagree with some or all of what I’ve said. But whether you experience it exactly like I do or not, you will realize or have realized in small little moments that things would have been slightly different if your had more women in the league or if you were a man.
Here’s to fitting in with the boys! *Clink* :)
So I have been working for the past 1 month in a business that has very few women – none at the managerial level. In all fairness, this is an industry type of a business, unglamorous, old-world and well, heavy. It smells, you have to be out in the Sun, travel like crazy, sweat and sit in dull looking offices. So yes, it isn’t a place a woman would look to naturally. All this is an explanation of why women wouldn’t be here. What I really want to write about is an account of my experience here as a woman who is, in fact, here. Even if for just 1 more month.
-- Cute don’t sell: It may seem like you can get a lot of work done by acting cutesy with men who haven’t seen a woman in their line of work in a long time, and sure enough you can! But you will never earn their respect. If you, on the other hand, make no allowances for yourself being young, inexperienced or/and a woman, and work hard – at least try sincerely to learn, you will earn genuine respect. And believe me, at the end of the day, that respect is what counts. I’m happy I earned it fair and square. :)
-- Tired don’t sell either: So you are too delicate to be there huh? You’ve got to learn how to hide that. These are men who understand that it isn’t easy for you to be where you are and do what you are doing but please, give them some credit. They are human too! Don’t give up at the first sight of a chair! So I stood – in the Sun, on the shop-floor, in the conference room – everywhere! Yes, I had to prove a point.
-- It isn’t easy to break into their inner circle: And especially so in a social setting. I had the privilege of attending a Senior Management party where the only women were wives of the Managers. And the men had formed small groups which I couldn’t get into unless I elbowed my way in! So I spoke o my boss, took my drink and stood gauging the situation till he took me over to the wives. Sure enough I got to talking and socializing and blah but one, I didn’t have anything to say to them and two, I had a distinct feeling that I was missing out on all the business discussions and hobnobbing with the Boss. I still need to find or develop a comfortable way of doing this.
-- You need to talk football, tennis or some other sport: I am uncomfortable with rules in sports. And this is something I feel very terrible about – inadequate sometimes. I just don’t seem to have to the knack for it! But it is a conversation starter and a great way to mingle with men! So I’ve decided to take 2 sports that I like even without knowing rules – football and tennis and learn their rules and follow their games.
-- Common room etiquettes: So we have this room that tea and accompaniments have to be consumed in. We all go in. And I have no particular place to rest my gaze on. And I can feel everyone looking at me and expecting me to talk or ask something. And it could be all my imagination but I tell you it is awkward! So I did what most mature individuals would do, I sipped my tea real fast and I bolted from there :) Again, something I need to get comfortable with.
-- You will never be your boss’s blue-eyed boy: Naturally. So you just hope that the work you do speaks for itself and the other people you work with speak appreciatively of you and that’s that. No, you cannot expect him to discuss his investments with you or his daughter and how he’s concerned about whom she’s seeing but that’s ok. As long as he knows he can count on you on the work-front and that you care but don’t intrude. And no, you cannot take your concerns about relationship and marriage to him and ask for advice! Hell, no! As long as you involve your better half (in spirit) in your discussions with the Boss, I think you are good. At least that is what I think now. If I’m wrong, I really have to think of another way to break into the Blue-eyed Boy club!
Some of you "stronger" women may disagree with some or all of what I’ve said. But whether you experience it exactly like I do or not, you will realize or have realized in small little moments that things would have been slightly different if your had more women in the league or if you were a man.
Here’s to fitting in with the boys! *Clink* :)
posted by Dangerously Detached at 10:12 AM
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