When you get what you want....
It has been a while hasn't it? It feels like an old life has come to an end and a new chapter has begun. I've always thought that when dreams come true and you get what you want, you feel happy. This time, I am not so sure.
I was reading my post, the one I wrote last year about being hopeless because things were just not falling into place and everything was hinged on some or the other 'if' that was so out of control. Well, the Universe was kind to me after all! I got what I wanted. I am now in a Business School a lot of people would give an arm and a leg to get into, my family is finally in one place and I have an anchor that sets me free as opposed to binding me down. Sounds perfect? On the surface it is. Except I dont know if I got confused between what I wanted and what I needed....at least one aspect of it....
I am not sure I am enjoying this whole 'B school experience' that the world raves about. It is fun, I'll agree. I am also learning a lot more than I ever did in such short spans of time. I've learnt that I can push myself beyond what I used to think was humanly possible. But the big picture - that's still a question mark! I dont know what it is that I want to do for the rest of my life! And while I enjoy the hands on experience stuff that the curriculum exposes me to, the focus on academics and grades is killing the fun part of learning altogether! I've never really been a books sort of a person. And a business school, in my opinion should have at least 50% focus on something 'real'. I dont know if I am expecting too much but that's not to be found here.
Maybe I need to look at things differently. And stop complaining and work my butt off for a year. Maybe this is the chance that life has given me to vent out my regrets about never having given acads the kind of committment I knew was possible to give but was too lazy to give.
Heck! I dont know.
I could go on forever and probably will in the next one year to come, but for now, I need to get back to books.
Here's to making the best out of dreams that do come true :-)
I was reading my post, the one I wrote last year about being hopeless because things were just not falling into place and everything was hinged on some or the other 'if' that was so out of control. Well, the Universe was kind to me after all! I got what I wanted. I am now in a Business School a lot of people would give an arm and a leg to get into, my family is finally in one place and I have an anchor that sets me free as opposed to binding me down. Sounds perfect? On the surface it is. Except I dont know if I got confused between what I wanted and what I needed....at least one aspect of it....
I am not sure I am enjoying this whole 'B school experience' that the world raves about. It is fun, I'll agree. I am also learning a lot more than I ever did in such short spans of time. I've learnt that I can push myself beyond what I used to think was humanly possible. But the big picture - that's still a question mark! I dont know what it is that I want to do for the rest of my life! And while I enjoy the hands on experience stuff that the curriculum exposes me to, the focus on academics and grades is killing the fun part of learning altogether! I've never really been a books sort of a person. And a business school, in my opinion should have at least 50% focus on something 'real'. I dont know if I am expecting too much but that's not to be found here.
Maybe I need to look at things differently. And stop complaining and work my butt off for a year. Maybe this is the chance that life has given me to vent out my regrets about never having given acads the kind of committment I knew was possible to give but was too lazy to give.
Heck! I dont know.
I could go on forever and probably will in the next one year to come, but for now, I need to get back to books.
Here's to making the best out of dreams that do come true :-)
Labels: Life in a B School
posted by Dangerously Detached at 11:33 AM
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